My Life Is A Soap Opera: 2010 - hmmmm, see ya later!

At "that time of the month" I get rather emotional. Call me naive, but I've only really noticed this over the last few years, but I do, I get really emotional. Not emotional good, emotional bad. As in depressed. All of sudden, my life sucks, I hate it and I'm terribly lonely. The good thing about recognising that once I month I feel like this and knowing the reason why, actually really helps. I know I'll have a day of two of hating the world and then I come out the other side all the better for it. Ok, I come out the other side, let's not be to dramatic about it.

I also semi look forward to January and semi dread it. I look forward to the summer, the holidays and the pure bliss in doing nothing. But I dread the envitable New Years resolutions and the realisations that I'm no where closer to where I wanted to be this time last year, in fact if I look around I'm in EXACTLY the same spot I was a year ago. I haven't moved anywhere, I haven't done any of the things I wanted to achieve in 2010. In fact the only thing that's different is that I'm a year older!

Now, what was the point of telling you all this - try combining the two situations! As you can probably deduce I haven't been the happiest of chappies the last few days, but as I now head back to work, I realise that while I felt completley useless and like I didn't achieve anything from my break, I realise that I actually have. Here's what I've learnt since Christmas:

- My family can are ok now. When I stop worrying and trying to take care of everyone I realise that actually they are ok now and I don't need to be the mother hen. They are actually living their own lives and doing well at it. And that perhaps it's time to let them be there for me for a while.

- Weddings' don't plan themselves. Lee & Morgan get married NEXT month! and there is still a lot to do and a lot of people to co-ordinate. I really need to sit down and buckle under. I wonder if Lee's coming over for a wedding planning meeting tonight?!

- I like swimming. We went swimming on Sunday at the Akatarewa River in Upper Hutt and it was beautiful. Very fast current, but fun nonetheless. Ever since then I've wanted to go swimming at Titahi Bay Beach, but the weather has not be very nice and I've been left disappointed each day. Jo and I are planning on going tomorrow after workd. Fingers crossed that it stays fine or at least heats up a little. If not, I'll be there on the weekend! It does get me thinking that I should get a pass to the swimming pool and go after work, either aqua jogging or swimming. Anyone want to join me?!

- I love babies, but I don't love being reminded that I am like the only person in the world not having one in 2011. I love all those that are having them and I sooooooo can't wait to be involved and doing everything I can to help out and be a part of their lives. I want one too! Enough said.

- I need holidays. Mum reminded me that sometimes you have to put down the 'to do' list and sit down with a good book. If I spend holidays at home I have this overwhelming feeling that I should be doing something, or getting stuff done. Don't ask me what stuff, just stuff ok! I feel guilty about reading all day, or about sitting in the sun and not doing any housework. But at the end of the day, that's exactly what I needed and what I need more of more often. So, I'm making a public decleration to take more holidays this year. Wahoo!

- I need to stick to my new years resolutions. If a quick glance back at 2010 is anything to learn from, then it's that I'm going to get nowhere if I don't at least try and achieve my goals. It's going to take some hard work and self sacrifice, but when I get to January 2012 I want to be proud of what I achieved in 2011 and not just diappointed.

- I dont' need to rely on my laptop for entertainment. I've gotten in to a bad habit of working all day, coming home, turning on my laptop and spending the entire evening in front of it. With it having given up the ghost and me still dilly-dallying around about getting it fixed, I've been forced to find other ways to entertain myself. Granted most of these start with me poking and prodding John with a whiny "I'm bored", but I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Don't get me wrong, I desperately need my computer fixed, but I'm also vowing to spend less time on it and not rely on it as my sole source of entertainment.

And with all that self indulgence said, here are some photos from the holidays.